|
x_Lyvv
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: lyvvy
Birthday: 9/17/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: music. enlightenment. awkward conversations. sex. swear words. weezy f. president obama. sunny afternoons in kitchens. passing out on the kitchen floor. "ridiculous." getting hurt. ely anthony. :]
Expertise: turning a perfectly comfortable conversation sour, hurting people, procrastinating, making people fall, bringing out the worst in myself, drinking myself unresponsive, never letting things really go.
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  xo lyv
Member Since:
12/7/2005
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| sometimes you have to go straight to the source to get the honest information, so i did.
i'm not sure any of it surprised me or even hurt any more than it already had, but i only let myself think about it, and feel it for just a minute before i make it go away. i occupy my mind with other thoughts, or text someone else who can make me smile... but i assume that at some moment when i least expect it, it's going to come at me with such force i won't be able to do anything about it. there is nothing i can do about it. no explanation as to 'why' or any apology is going to make it all better.
and for whatever reason, i cannot get your words out of my head. the night i laid on the bed in my basement wondering why i was even still with you..."it's just sex, lyv." and then, the words you spoke when you realized that you two weren't all that different; "i'm sure he still loves you."
everybody is capable of terrible things, and everyone lies. we hurt people we say we'd die for and then crucify them for doing the same. we claim we'd never do such a thing, and then when the circumstances are just right... we do it. maybe out of the spite we'd like to deny exists or maybe because we just don't care anymore like we used to.
i'm stuck between what feels like right and wrong. i'm living in that gray area, and it feels more like home than anything else ever has.
i have finally come to realize that i just might be the biggest hypocrite i have ever known, and there is a cold, cynical, hard part of me that just doesn't even fucking care.
i just want to destroy something beautiful.
| | |
|
the hardest things to say are the words that mean the most.
so i'll bite my tongue 'til it bleeds, and i doubt you'll even know.
the easiest things to fake are feelings to fool someone else.
and i've been tricked for so long by you that i spent these last few months in my own hell.
i hate myself for loving you like this.
i hate myself for hating myself, just enough to love you.
| | |
|
"can you hear me? are you listening?
this is the sound of my heart breaking,
and i hope it's entertaining 'cause for me, it's a bitch."
fuck, that's beautiful.
haha.
| | |
|
"i'll tear out.. i'll tear out your heart. with the lights out, i hope you never leave my side. i promise to leave weapons left by the bedside."
i get chills.
| | |
| ahh. nevermind. i will probably never stop using xanga as my own personal online diary. no one reads this shit anyway. tumblr just doesn't have the same feel. i'll still use tumblr, just not for personal things like i post here.
| | |
|